I am yours alone

November 17, 1943

my darling George,

For the past three nights I’ve tried to write to you without success.  The first night I tried to write was saturday.  Well a short time before I started the phone rang and it was Marjory.  She said skipper fell off the bed and cut his chin.  It was bleeding and she couldn’t stop the blood.  Of course we all went right over.  He’s got some cut.

The next night, Sunday, it was about seven after I got through ironing all the clothes that Rose washed Saturday.  I sat myself down nicely and was ready to start when the phone rang again.  The people next door called to tell us Mrs. F had just died.  Well of course my mother insisted we all go over and so we did.

Monday Mother went to the hospital to have xrays taken of her ears.  Well when I came home from work that night we had to put applications on her ear.  But tonight I decided I was going to write regardless.

I’ve just come in from outside.  It sure is getting cold.  We’ve had snow three times this week.

I’m listening to Fred Mornings band and he is playing such nice soft music.  I remember the times up in your room when I would always want to hear the program but you would “sooth” me so much that I would always manage to fall asleep.

G, during the day as I go along and things happen I say to myself, oh I’ll have to tell George this or the other thing.  When I start to write I forget them all.  I guess I’ll have to write them as I go along.

I’m disappointed today.  I thought for sure there would ba a letter from you today my darling.

I suppose school keeps you pretty busy.  Have you had very much K.P Duty lately?

Oh my darling as I sit here I’m thinking of the thing we use to do and took them so for granted.  Knowing that we cannot do them again to-morrow.  Darling I want to be with you so very bad.

Can we do anything about it soon?  It’s up to you you know (please don’t get mad)

Well to-morrow Paul goes for his induction.  I wonder if he’ll pass the physical.

Darling please tell me if there is a chance of you coming home for Xmas.  If you can that will be all I ask for.  If you can’t would it do any good for me to come down there?  Keep studying hard my darling and I will keep praying hard.

Remember my sweetheart I love you very much and live for the day we’ll pick up our life where we left it off oh so long ago.

I love you my darling husband.

Your loving wife,

“Toni”

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Next Letter: December 4

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November 13, 1943

My dearest,

Thank you my pet for the wonderful, wonderful letter. I’m referring to that one you wrote when you were in a loving mood, because the moon was shining in your window. It’s too bad the moon doesn’t shine there more often so you will be inspired to write more of the same.

How dare you say you’re sorry for writing the same thing. You know you could fill your letters with just I love you & I miss you & I would be happy. You remember I never got tired of hearing you say you loved me. I would ask you who you loved just to hear you say it again.

Oh my darling when you say we’ll be together soon, I can just see us going to the Ice Follies again this new years & then go right to your house & to bed. Remember darling last year we drank champagne & I didn’t get home until after mass.

As I sit here & write this letter I’ve got your picture right in front of me & darling you look so nice & happy. I feel like asking you to wipe that silly grin off your face, like I use to when you were laughing at a private joke.

Thank you very much for the picture. I’m glad you didn’t have your overseas cap on in it.

I was just thinking of how stiff Jr is. Oh if I could just play with him a tiny bit. Put him in my mouth for a while, he would taste better than any chicken we’ve ever had. Then I would kiss every inch of Jr. & any other part of your body, in fact, every part of it. I wouldn’t miss one spot. Oh my darling just to be able to hold you in my arms. I long for your kisses just as bad as you long for mine. No don’t you dare say you long for mine more because that’s not so.

You made Susie flow as if I had the curse when I read all those beautiful thoughts of yours.

Just wait dearest when we get the chance again, oh boy we are going to do it up right. You know how my darling.

George your in school, you’re having phase, what is that my pet? And something else I’ve been wanting to ask you what does T.S.S. mean on your address?

I’m going to close my darling with a poem it’s called “It must be you.”

Each night when I look up & see the silver stars above, my longing heart keeps telling me it must be you I love. I cannot ever close my eyes without I dream of you & all day long I memorize the things you say & do. I gaze at others & compare the beauty of each gem, but in all ways & everywhere you overshadow them. You are in magic of the night, the sunshine of the day, you are the rainbow of delight whenever skies are gay. I cannot feel the winds that blow I cannot touch a tear, I am in love & now I know it must be you, my dear.

God bless you my darling & keep you for…

Your loving wife,

Toni

I love you always. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Next Letter: November 17

November 10, 1943

My dearest darling,

These past few weeks I’ve received letters from you that were more than two pages long. It’s too bad it had to take a subject such as that to make your letters long.

Dearest you made me so unhappy that I cried when I read your last letter. You said you had thought of getting married on your first furlough and now you begin to wonder.

Oh darling don’t you see that’s the only thing that I want. My mother is the same way, you are in a lot of respect but she knows my darling if I was Mrs. S you can bet your boots my darling that I would stay home.

In the first place if we were married & you were at a regular camp I would come with you & work in town. We could do it my darling as far as my keeping busy while you are at camp & could not come home, there will always be something for me to do. Oh George please darling believe me I love you so much, don’t you remember my sweet the nites we spent in your room or at our house when the folks were not home.

Don’t you know my sweet that the only thing I want is to be with you. Oh, just think if anything should happen to one of us, just think of what we missed.

Please my sweet won’t you think it over again & tell me we are going to get married on your first visit home.

How could you think I would go out after we were married. I would be so busy & happy in our little world. The twentieth of this month it will be a year & four months that I have had my ring. It’s not anything like we planned, is it my sweet?

I’m thanking God to-nite for having you forgive me & I thank him every nite for having given me the privilege & honour of your love my sweet. This may sound like so much mush to you but I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

One day last week I was looking through some of our old books & I found some poems that help express some of my thoughts. So now & then I’ll throw one in my letters to you. I hope you don’t think they are silly.

This one is called “Forgive me, dear.”

I know not how to comfort you unless perhaps to let you know I did not really mean to do…the little things that hurt you so, I did not mean to act that way…or say the things I said. But I was foolish yesterday & all my reasoning had fled, I had forgotten for a while how much your pleasure means to me. How I depend upon your smile & your endearing sympathy, I did not purposely ignore the friendly feeling in your heart, I did not want to close the door as though to keep our souls apart I cannot alter what is done or make it weigh the least bit less. But I implore you, dearest one, to please forgive my foolishness.

There are certain parts in this little poem my dear that I would not want to have put in but it must rhyme, you know. Parts like all my reasoning had fled & friendly feeling in your heart. I know & thank God that it is more than a friendly feeling.

Thank you for the pictures. I’m going to have a few made & I think I’ll give one to your mother for Xmas. Before you ask me what I want for Xmas I’m going to tell you. I want one PF.C.George.L S. (36748480) all dressed up so I can undress him & play with him as I go along.

Well my darling I’m going to close now for I think there is a 7:30 mail & I want this letter to be on it. When I mail my letters air mail do you usually get them the next day?

I want you to know P.F.C. George that I’m writing because I love you, I love you, I love you & not because I want to keep up your moral. You’re the only service man that I started to write to & am still writing to.

So for now my darling, think of the time we will be together again perhaps for the reason to become man & wife.

I love you remember the always please, please keep up the good work in school. If you come to Chicago call me up or better still let me know & I’ll meet you.

Your darling wife,

Toni

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Next Letter: November 13

November 8, 1943

My darling,

I’ve tried three times to write to you within the past two days & something always seems to interfere.

Sunday was Skipper’s birthday & we all went over there Saturday nite. I went to Oak Park straight from work & bought him a little sweets. Gee the cake Margie has sure was good. It seems so funny not to have Dan around though. My aunt & uncle went home about 10:45 so did Rose & Paul. I stayed with Margie until Dan came home from work. She sure hates to stay home without Dan. I don’t know how Dan is keeping himself awake but he better keep it up.

When I went to put Skipper to sleep I guess he realized it was later than usually & he said to me, Aunt Toni why is mother so good to me & makes me stay up later to-nite? To my surprise he asked me where you were & why didn’t you come to his party too.

Paul has to go to the induction centre a week from Wednesday. By the first of Dec he’ll be gone too.

Some of girls who use to work at Mars with me have been talking to me about working at Mars a few hours in the evening. I think I’ll do it for Xmas money. As soon as I mail this letter to you my darling, Eddie B’s girl & I are going down to find out about.

My mother thinks I’m crazy. Darling this is the same question I’ve asked you before but I’m going to ask you again. Do you think you can come home for Xmas. If you can’t will it do me any good to come down there. I would like to be with you for Xmas if possible.

In your last letter there seemed to be doubt in your mind about my belonging to you body & soul. Well my dearest I’ve tried to pound in your little head that you are the only body that my body & soul will ever belong to. Remember that, will you my darling?

Darling you said in your last letter that you were having Holy week. Are you sure that’s what it was. Holy week is the last week in Lent & Lent is 40 days before Easter. I’m very happy to know you are going to see Chaplin. That remarks you made about not having any use for it anymore I will ignore. I can be Mrs. G.L. S. & stay home & work on my hope chest.

I love you my darling remember that you big lug.

I wish I had you here & I would show you. I’d give you so many goose bumps & chills you wouldn’t think it were possible.

Your loving wife.

Toni

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Next Letter: November 10

November 4, 1943

My dearest husband,

Please allow me to address you as such. You may not think now that I should be allowed the honor. But believe me my sweet you can never imagine the happiness that is in store for you.

I deserved everything you said in your letter & more besides my mother is so angry with me, she said I don’t deserve anyone as good as you.

Darling if you would say to me “Toni please I would like it much better if you didn’t go out” Oh my sweet please don’t think you would be asking me too much. If you would be easier in your mind about me just let me know.

I don’t want you to be worried about me. I want you to get through with school with one of the highest grades in the class.

Oh my sweet as I go along in this letter I think of the thoughts you might have had when I didn’t write. Oh George please forgive me I don’t mean to add to your worries anymore. I know & realize that you’re not having any fun. So far away from town & everything.

To get back to us again. You’ll never know how much I want to become Mrs. G.L.S. More so now my darling than before. Yes that;s right more so now than before. My mother keeps telling me she wished she had encourage the thought. The first month or so when you were away I stayed at home & would cry about every other day.

I supposed it looks bad to you my not writing & my saying I’ve become a social butterfly. I can still say that it’s you I want to marry. Even though you & I don’t have a lot in common. there is still our love which is the best thing to keep two people together.

I may have gone out but you can believe this or not every time I went my date would have to repeat two or three times during an evening. He’d find me starring off into space & I would be thinking of you & when he would ask me I would tell him. And we would depend about half an hour or so discussing us & what we would have done if the war had not have interfered. Just think my darling we would have been married a month already if you were home now. Just think we could have screwed every nite, noon & day. Oh my darling how could you even ask me to stop writing to you. That’s the only privilege I have now. You would not want to take that away from me would you. If you think you were leaving me off easy you’re mistaken.

Damit anyway other people get married why don’t we? I’m not blaming you I know you were doing what you thought was best for me. That’s probably what’s wrong, you were being too sensible.

I’m worried George that you’ll go off on a spree & poke some officer in the nose & then land in the bridge. Don’t do anything foolish.

Oh George if you & I were only together. Oh God please, please let us be together soon for I miss my darling so very much.

If you still are angry with me & do not wish me to write to you anymore please say so. I think I can trust you to write & say the right thing.

You may think absence makes the heart grow fonder for someone else but that holds true for people who think there in love & not for us.

Remember my darling our future rests in your hands, do the right thing with it.

Until I hear from you again I remain your loving old bag,

Toni

P.s. Please forgive me & kiss me good-nite George.

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Next Letter: November 8

November 2, 1943

My darling George, 

As you can see I still didn’t get any stationary, but I don’t think you will mind.

I’ve just come back from taking care of Skipper & Dan. Margie & Dan wanted to use the last chance they have of going to the show together. dan is starting to work at the Buick plant from 4 o’clock until 12:00 midnight. I don’t think he will be able to do it. He has the awful habit of falling asleep about 10 o’clock at night or even earlier.

Darling remember the times you & i went to bed at 10 o’clock & slept to 4. Remember how God would always manage to wake us up by 4:00 or 3:45. Once or twice he slipped up and I got home at 4:30.

I’ve told you before our division at work had a dance Saturday nite. Gee it sure was a success. We sold over 1000 tickets. I think they made about $500 profit. In spite of the hotel costing $225 & the band $325. They are already planning a X-mas party. Oh my darling I sure wish you & I could be together for Xmas. Do you think it is possible stinky?

I’m very sorry my darling about not having written to you for such a long time a few weeks ago. If you don’t mind I’d like to forget about the whole thing.

I was very sorry to hear you failed your exam in ECL. I can very well blame myself for that. I’ve beaten myself every nite since then. 

Tomorrow is our bowling league nite. I sure hope we got ourselves in first place last week. We will find out tomorrow.

Mother is calling me now to put warm applications on her ear. I’ll have to leave you for a while my darling.

Please forgive me my sweet. I pray to God each nite that you & I can be together soon & take up our life where we left off before you went away. It will soon be six months since you have been gone & it seems like six years.

I love you my darling although sometimes I have a funny way of showing it. 

God bless you & keep you safe for:

Your loving wife, 

Toni. 

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Next Letter: November 4

October 30, 1943

Dear George,

I’ve been out of stationary for three days & I still haven’t gotten any. Looking through the bunch of letters I have I found this paper by accident. It’s a good thing I took some while I was at the Lennox.

The cutest thing I’ve ever heard that the Skipper has said in a long time was this. The other day Margie & the Skipper were in the beauty shop. Margie was getting her hair done while the Skipper was visiting up front with Uncle Paul. When the time came for the Skipper & Margie to go home, he stopped by my Uncle’s chair. There was a man there who didn’t have very much hair on his head. The top of his head was nice & shiny. He just had a little bit in the back just enough I guess for a few hair cuts if you had a lot of imagination. Well anyway the Skipper asked Uncle Paul what he was doing & Uncle Paul said he was cutting the man’s hair. Then the Skipper with a question in his voice & in his eyes said “But Uncle Paul, where is the man’s hair?”. You can imagine how fast Margie got out of there.

I think I’ve told you before that my mother had an abscessed ear. The doctor is afraid he is going to have to lance it, if it doesn’t get any better.

Tomorrow is Halloween & our division is having a dance at the Morrison, we are going to dance from 10:00pm until 6:00am. After the last dance we will probably go out for breakfast & then to church.

I’ve probably told you all this before. I think I’ll keep a carbon copy of every letter I send you.

How are things coming along in school?

I think you & I should be together soon or I won’t be worthy of this ring.

Paul got his notice to go have another blood test. Rose will have heart failure if he leaves before Christmas. She will be very unhappy but she is also thankful to have had him here so long as it is.

Jean got a baby boy. He was born Sept 1. Her husband was home when the baby was born, now he is in Texas.

No more news for now so I’ll close for a while.

Toni

photo-4 - Version 2

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Next Letter: November 2

October 26, 1943

*It looks like the letters from the 25th and the 26th had been switched.

Dear George,

There is no excuse good enough for me. I can’t tell you how sorry I am to have gone so long without writing to you.

I was a social butterfly the last two weeks & I didn’t realize it was so long between my letters I know I should have, for you were nice enough to send me three letters & three nice cards.

Today is Sunday & I’m home alone. Mother & Dad have gone down to see aunt Mary. They are going to have dinner there too. Rose & Paul went out last night. They are going to sleep at Mrs. Murphys so they won’t be home until late to-nite I suppose.

Margie & Dan wet to the Ill. – Notre Dame game yesterday. I saw Dan this morning and asked him how he liked the game. For an answer he said “yes it’s nice weather”. I asked Margie what she though about it & she said we don’t talk about things like that. The score was 48 to 0 in Notre Dame’s favor. No wonder they don’t talk about it.

My Aunt “J” has been back from Florida for about three weeks now & she still talks about how happy she was to see Bud & how good he looked & the wonderful campus the university had.

Wouldn’t it be handy my sweet if you were stationed some where in California & I got a job at one of the Douglas Plants there.

Oh I almost forgot to tell you, Lorraine is back in town. She hasn’t called me yet & I’m not going to call her either. Rose has seen her in Oak Park. Lorraine told Rose that she was going to call me when she got settled well I’ll wait.

I’m sorry my darling to have had to let you wait so long for a letter. I won’t do it again.

Love,

Toni

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Next Letter: October 30

October 25, 1943

Darling,

In my last letter I told you Lorraine was back in town but I forgot to tell you the reason. Her husband has gone overseas. I wonder what kind of a married life she had. If it was anything like ours.

I saw Jimmy D to-day. He’s Ensign D. now. He got his training in New York & now he’s going to San Diego for sea duty.

I was looking through my old magazines to-day & I found a poem I would like you to read so here goes:

So many miles.
So many miles divide us now, so many fields of green.
So many roads, so many towns are scattered in between.
It seems as though I never would reach out & touch your hand.
Although we two are still within the borders of this land,
So many fences, woods & streams, appear to bar the way,
And every hour multiplies…the slowness of the day.
And yet each night when I look up…You are waiting, too…
For time to wonder by, and to each little silver star…I throw a kiss or two,
and hope that they will hear me pray…& drop them down to you.

You’ve often said my darling other people cannot express other people’s thoughts. Well this will help you know how I feel.

Oh I’ve meant to tell you before but our bowling team is in second place. The team in first place has two girls on their team that were once professional bowlers.

We are having bowling blouses made for our team. We are going to wear blue slacks & the blouses are white with red letters on them, the name of the team written on the back & our own name on the pockets. The name of our team is the “Rioters.” Believe me, are we a riot. Love man stays out so far I’ve played every game I sure hope I can keep it up.

I’m praying for you every day my darling keep up the good work in school I’m very proud of you stinky.

Your lover,

Toni.

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Next Letter: October 26

October 7, 1943

my darling George,

To use the words of Annie Rooney quote: “I feel good all over.” When I got home from work to-day I found a letter from you my darling.  It sure felt good to receive two letters in three days.  I got one monday nite too.  It makes me feel as though you were still at J.B.

Darling when you write to me don’t feel too bad if you can’t think of anything to write about except the weather.  Well stinky don’t let it worry you.  As long as I get a letter from you that is all I care about.

George my aunt “J” was saying something about sending Bud a package of canned fruit in the package she also sends a knife, a spoon and a fork also a can opener.  Sweetheart the Murphy’s just asked me if I wanted to go to the show with them.  I just got through ironing so I guess I’ll go.

12:00 midnight
Hello again my darling.  I’m back again.  We went to the show and saw two nice pictures.  I haven’t been to the show since I went with them before that was about a month ago.

Oh my darling how could you say you cheated me out of a lot of things before by just taking me to the show and then to your house.  What I wouldn’t do for one of our special picnics in your room.  With a couple of glasses of port and a hamburger and best of all your special loving.  You’ll never have to worry my darling about anyone taking me away from you.  For that my love is an impossibility.  God made us for each other and God knows best.

I’ve just read the first part of this letter and it sure doesn’t make sense.  I guess I’m thinking a lot faster then I’m writing.  In regards to sending canned fruit.  What I wanted to know is would it be O.K with you if I send you some?

Come my darling husband it’s time you and I went to bed for we both have a lot of work to do.

I love you my darling now, always and forever,

Your loving wife,

Toni

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